Science and technology are overall, pretty great.
I’m glad they are around to give us stuff like electric toothbrushes and hula hoops, and yeah, I was happy when texting became available so I could send my drunken thoughts on jelly donuts (no ever eats them, it’s like this complete myth of a donut) to all my friends.
However, when we consider all the advancements that science has given us, there is one thing that is glaringly amiss:
No, not Michael J. Fox’s stunning good looks – I’m talking about the hoverboard.
If there was one thing that I would ask scientists, it would be “What happened to the hoverboard?” When Back to the Future II hit the theaters, and we saw Marty McFly creating the hoverboard by ripping apart a kid’s scooter, the entire world sat back and said, “Well, forget cancer research, this is something we need to have.”
And after the movie there were rumors – oh how there were rumors! Mattell was busy constructing one, but didn’t have the resources to do it, and on and on. With each rumor I wondered – is today the day they finally figure out the hoverboard?
The years went by and still no hoverboard. Oh sure, since we first saw the hoverboard we got things like The Hubble Telescope (pictures of space! Woo hoo!) and the cloning of Dolly The Sheep (now, with cleaner poop!), but who really cares about that stuff? And since Back to the Future II was set in 2015, the scientists really don’t have much more time to get this thing on track.
Enough of the games, Smart People – I want a hoverboard and I want one now.
Stop everything else and get on it, scientists. And while you’re at it, figure out how to make it go faster over water, because you better believe I plan on taking that baby to the beach. We’ll see how cool those surfers think they are then.