I just saw the cover of the April issue of your magazine, and I think I’ve had enough. I know that you do a lot of good for people and all that, but this is a little ridiculous.
I’m not even talking about how you and Michelle Obama are obviously photo-shopped. Or the fact that you let the first lady get photographed wearing a belt I’m sure they sell at Wal-Mart. Because that doesn’t even really bother me.
What I have a problem with is that you couldn’t let Michelle Obama have the cover of your magazine to herself.
Is it not enough that you have been on the cover of every single other issue? I guess not. When you found out she was giving you an interview, you just couldn’t let the first black First Lady ever chill by herself. Nope! You had to be on the cover too!
I don’t understand. What is the point? It’s not like people don’t know who you are already. When I’m at Dunkin’ Donuts ordering a healthy chocolate donut for myself, and I see you walk in, it’s not like I’m turning to my friend and exclaiming, “Who’s that black lady???” No, I’m saying, “Damn! Oprah likes donut holes too!”
What I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t make sense. I don’t get how you didn’t think, at least just for a second, “Maybe I could step aside this time.” You do know the damn magazine is named after you, right?
Anyway, I think I’m done with you. This is just too weird.
In closing, now that I’ve voiced my disapproval, please don’t use your special Oprah Magic to turn me into a one-legged monkey.