sorted out

I’d like to have a word with the guy who made this poster for the upcoming (sure to be a hit) movie The Haunting in Connecticut.

When I take pictures of posters in the subway, people don't think I'm crazy, they just think I'm a loser.

The only scary things in Connecticut are the vast amounts of white people who think wearing sweaters over their shoulders is okay.

If you can’t read my fine subway photography, the tagline for the film is “Some things cannot be explained.”  But here’s the thing: I think I can explain what’s happening here pretty well.

It’s called vomiting.

a.k.a. ralphing, spewing, losing your lunch, blowing chunks, puking and my personal favorite: buying the buick.

The kid is fucking puking.  And… I’m done!  I explained it. Little Sammy probably didn’t listen to his dad when he told him that he better eat his broccoli and when Sammy copped an attitude dad had to shove the veggie down poor Sammy’s throat causing him to ralph which never would have happened if he had just listened to dad in the first place.

Or maybe the kid just found out that Flo Rida has the number one song in America right now.

Either way, it’s pretty easy to explain what’s happening here.

I don’t know much about designing movie posters, but hopefully we can try a little harder next time. You know, put some thought into it dammit.  Like this blog post, I thought about this for like 17 minutes straight.

It’s called Leading By Example.

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38 Comments

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38 responses to “sorted out

  1. Is that kid puking underwater?? It looks like coffee and a fetus!!!
    Those Connecticut People know how party!!!

    Hahaha – oh hell yeah they do.

  2. wait, we’re actually expected to THINK about the things we write before we post them??

    fuck that. i’m too lazy.

    I know what you mean.

  3. Daisee579

    Perhaps the mystery is how he is puking UP instead of down and defying the laws of gravity?

    Projectile vomiting!

  4. Not for nothing… that Flo Rider song is HOT!!

    Noooooo!!!

  5. Meh. He’s just had some wicked ganja.

    Lucky guy.

  6. well…I must be bizarre and whatever because I like the poster 😛

    To each his own.

  7. jay grochalski

    i wish Flo Rida would go away

    My thoughts exactly.

  8. I don’t know who Flo Rida is and I have no idea what song that might be.

    Do I have to punch myself in the face again?

    No, it’s good that you don’t know this guy.

  9. Well now you have ruined this movie for me. Oh thanks so much.

    You’re welcome.

  10. That is a bit odd.

    A bit.

  11. Matt

    But can you explain why anyone would make a movie that took place in Connecticut?

    I cant.

    Fuck, yeah, you stumped me.

  12. What is he, ralphing underwater or something? That would sure get messy.

    I bet it all floats.

  13. So Flo Rida lookslike his name should really be Florida. Like Florida Evans? Florida had a tight fro.

    He did?

  14. Ben

    Puking fire underwater? THAT’S NOTHING NEW.

    LAME.

  15. 17 minutes? No wonder your blog is better than mine. I haven’t put that much time into my last 5 posts.

    It’s really not, don’t be fooled.

  16. This is for you AND previous commentator Kelly:

    OK, ready for your mind to be blown?

    Flo Rida IS FROM FLORIDA. AND IF YOU PUT THE TWO PARTS OF HIS DOUCHEY NAME TOGETHER, IT SPELLS FLORIDA. ZOMG!!!!!

    Someone pointed that out to me about a month ago and I’ve been reeling ever since.

    I know you always appreciate when I put my two cents in.

    I do, thank you for clearing that up.

  17. Horror movies are all stupid these days. And this poster just proves my point.

    They can’t seem to make any good ones like Stepford Wives (the original), Omen, Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby.

    Now they have some kid throwing up underwater. I preferred the rotating head myself.

    The Shining too.

  18. peaceofpi

    Flo Rida has the number 1 song?!?!? …. Again?!?!?!?

    I hate radio!

    No reason to ever listen to the radio.

  19. IT REMINDS ME OF TUB GIRL.

    please google that. it’s totally NSFW so maybe wait till you’re at home. or not. whatever

    I’ll have to wait until I get home, but it better be some porn, not some gross stuff.

  20. You have to look at that every morning and evening? That’s really, well, horrible. Oh New York, you so crazy!

    It’s wild!

  21. Dude, there’s really nothing else to say. Except for some reason I now have that ef’n Flo Rida song stuck in my head.

    I‘m sorry to do that to you.

  22. He’s kind of puking *up*, though, right? It’s projectile vomit at its finest.

    I know, it really is pretty good.

  23. It looks like he’s vomiting and then re-swallowing his own puke. Not the brightest kid, that one.

    Hahaha – no, not at all.

  24. I don’t know who Flo Rida is, which makes me – lucky or old?

    Flo…Rida. Hahaha. That’s fucking funny. (Heh, I actually read it as “Flooohrida? Florida? OH. FLOW RIDAH.” Genius.)

    Genius, yes.

  25. There is no way it was 17 minutes straight. There HAD to be a few minutes of picking your bracket in there.

    I picked mine yesterday man, I’m all Pitt all day!

  26. now that’s a movie I’m going to go rush to see…

    It’ll sell out!

  27. It’s like you got to see that movie for FREE!

    I’m like Roger Ebert, or whichever one of those guys that’s not dead.

  28. Must be sponsored by the Connecticut Board of Tourism to draw the lucrative Halloween vacation crowd. Those guys like to plan ahead.

    Can’t outsmart those Tourism guys.

  29. I, for one, am thankful for that poster. I originally thought that “The Haunting in Connecticut” was about that time a black guy lived there for a month. Guess that movie was far too frightening to get released in that state.

  30. A horror movie set in connecticut doesn’t have much going for it anyway. Hard sell.

  31. yeah, i’ve had many nights similar to that poster. I hate puking.

  32. okay, first of all, i think that the kid is literally puking his guts out, which is totally scary and probably pretty painful. and messy. i feel bad for whoever had to clean that shit up. they should make a movie about that.
    also, i seriously can’t ever remember thinking about a blog post for 17 minutes. i’m like … twelve and a half MAX

  33. HAHAHA the kid just puked in the entire movie?? I hate disgusting horror movies like that. Thai horror movies are like that, well some of them.

  34. This could be the most brilliant movie poster EVER. I’m sure the movie is rip-roaringly funny, too.

  35. when i saw this poster last weekend it was lined up probably 15 in a row – i literally stop and stared at it, not understanding what it was.

    poor kid.

  36. jen

    I’ve turned into a bit of a scaredy cat recently and have to switch channels everytime to TV ad for this film comes on! It’s pretty scary!! Granted, it’s probably the worst bits of the film…but I think I’m turning into a wimp!! x

  37. That is a powerful explanation for some powerful vomiting.

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