make that change

When did this become okay?

Brought to you by Hair Cuttery.

Brought to you by Hair Cuttery.

I’m not talking about having your own name spelled out in large glowing gold letters across a picture of yourself, because I am totally doing that for my next business card. I’m talking about the hair.

I feel like I missed something.

When did we, as a culture, as human fucking beings, decide that it was okay for Keith Urban (and sadly, others like him) to have Hot Woman Hair?

When did we stop caring?

Because let’s face it, when a man can walk around looking like that and no one passionately objects or even wildly attacks him with a pair of clippers, we have stopped caring.

Are things this bad?

I know the economy is down.  I know.  And I know that somehow people keep seeing the Saw movies even though – hello??? – it’s the same fucking movie every time. But allowing this to happen is just taking things too far.

I want everyone to think about how they contributed to this mess, and figure out how they can remedy it. For me, I hate to admit it, but I think it was when I told my friend that I have Duncan Sheik’s Barely Breathing on my iPod.

But I can get better, and so can you, and hopefully, so can Keith Urban’s hair.

Let’s stop and think about our lives, and try to make the world a better place – one Hot Woman Haired Man at a time.


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58 responses to “make that change


    What a dick.

    Total asshole.

  2. Just A Girl

    I just can’t stop thinking about how much time he must spend with foils on his head. My sister is a stylist so I spend waaay too much time in a salon but his ‘do is way more complicated than mine. Ugh.


  3. Ben

    Keith Urban should get boobs and REALLY make a statement.

    I bet they’d be glorious too.

  4. I think Keith Urban HAS boobs…statement made.

    I want to see them!

  5. His hair is somehow making the rest of his features more girly too. And…wait…is he wearing EYELINER in that picture?

    Yes, yes it is.

  6. Between his hot woman hair, Nicole’s face that does not move and having a baby named after a day of the week they are like a 3 person circus freak show. Throw in Tomkat and Furi and they could take the act on the road.

    I’d pay to see it.

  7. His hair looks ten times better than mines. WTF is up with that?

    Just last night I read that “the next Saw film will be more violent.” Huh?

    Ten times more blood and ten times less plot!

  8. I used to have Posh Spice hair and a lot of young guys have that haircut too. I liked saying, “That guy has my haircut!” Really, really loud. 🙂

    They deserved it.

  9. I knew hot woman hair wouldn’t be clean. I knew it! (I haven’t washed my hair in four days.)

    I can tell – this comment is hot!

  10. The man clearly has issues with life.
    And I am totally going to get my hair styled like that this weekend!

    Pictures please!

  11. I blame 80’s glam bands for this. It’s always Bret Michaels’ fault. Always.

    But I will always forgive him though. For one, Poison was awesome, and two – he’s a Steelers fan.

  12. Now he just looks like the pretty bearded lady. Give Farah Fawcett back her hair Keith!

    Or just change your name to Farah and stop with the lies.

  13. Is it wrong that I think the haircut is kinda sexy on a dude? Okay, on Keith Urban it is – though, for the record, I’d like to state I do hate his music – but not so much on Billy Ray Cyrus who also sports the same style these days.

    P.S. I adore the Saw movies. You suck.

    Adore? C’mon, not adore. Maybe you like them. I mean, I adore The Big Lebowski.

  14. When faux words became part of pop culture, like octomommy, bromance, Bennifer, I stopped caring.

    I really think if I see one more smooshed-together faux word, I’m going to have to divorce the internets.

    You could never give it up – it’s inside of you!

  15. Okay, I think I helped with this by…insisting that boys should shower regularly and wear clean underwear. Hasn’t it really gone downhill since then?

    I’m all for grooming, but your man-eyebrows should not be more perfectly shaped than mine. They just shouldn’t.

    And we’ve worked long and hard for hot girl hair…do NOT take that away from us. Because we will start growing your sexy man stubble. And then where will you be? Ha!

    We will be very, very sad.

    Chris (the artist formerly known as Christopher)

  16. DO you hate to admit it? Because you just got that effing song – which I’ve HATED since 1997 – in my head!!!

    Poor Duncan. Why does he keep going back to her??? Stop Duncan! She doesn’t really love you!! It’s only going to end badly, just like all the other times!

  17. Matt

    I probably contributed because I watched two entire seasons of “Lost.”

    but I swear, I am not watching it anymore.

    That’s a lot of hours of your life that you’ll never get back.

  18. Shit, I wish I had hair like that. If I did, I’d go get a haircut, but I wish it were at least possible.

    Highlights are inexcusable. Revoke his Man Card.

    Okay, I’ll give you that the idea of it is intriguing. The execution? Scary.

  19. It become ok when guys started wearing their sister’s pants. It’s a sad state of affairs, my friend.

    I’d put a frowning emoticon here but I’m not an idiot.

  20. dude, i hate to break it to ya but this shit’s been going down way before keith urban lest we forget when michael w. smith pulled this circa 1990:

    and yes, i just made a michael w. smith reference. BOO YAH!!

    And you also said “boo yah!” Well played.

  21. Wendy

    This is from his 2002 album cover. His hair is much shorter now.

    That doesn’t make it okay.

  22. Back in the day it was cool to have long hair. However if you looked like a chick from the back, you would probably get your ass kicked and rightfully so! Its the same thing with skinny jeans and being a metro-sexual. It is not okay. Seriously! We need to bring back the way of the Fox, as in Red Fox. Ol’ skool.

    +457 for the first Red Fox reference ever on this blog.

  23. I care. You care. So you hold him down, and I shave it all off. It’s for his own good. And then we steal his wallet.

    I’m down.

  24. This is what happens when you have a Stylist and low self esteem.

    Men should never have long hair. NEVER. Or highlights.

    And back away from the flat iron. I’m serious.

    Amen sister.

  25. bwp

    Keith Urban is a hotter woman than me.

    I am not okay with this!

    You should be very, very worried. Don’t let your boyfriend read this post.

  26. You’re just jealous you can’t pull off that look!

    I mean, what guy doesn’t want to look like he was born with both parts and his parents chose the wrong gender??

    I know, I am a sad man.

  27. It actually might a good sign, like clean styled hair is the first step on the path back from the shaggy dirty hair that has inexplicably become okay. Or is that just Portland? Anyway, maybe washing and styling is the first step, and boy haircuts come next.

    Let’s hope you’re right.

  28. charmcitykim

    I am with you! It was bad enough that long hair became acceptable… but when men start HIGHLIGHTING it, something is really wrong with society.

    Very, very wrong.

  29. That’s a hot guy.

    It’s a woman.

  30. The hair by itself is bad, but for me it’s that combined with the two (not one but two!!) hoop ear-rings in his left ear! Now that’s hott!

    I don’t even know how he looks at himself without laughing.

  31. I have Duncan Sheik too! Twinsies.

    PS–I’m pregnant.

    You are??? Oh my god girl! Congrats!!!

  32. LOL would guys actually hit on him when he sits and turn his back?

    I would.

  33. Red

    Wow. I never actually noticed the highlights. But I’m pretty sure his hair has been some version of that since his debut circa ’96. My aunt drools over him, but I think he’s too skinny.

    You never noticed the highlights? That’s like saying you never realized Fat Albert was overweight.

  34. jay grochalski

    christ, seeing Urban’s hair reminds me of the time back in 1987 when my brother showed me Poison’s album cover and asked me which chick was the hottest one.

    Haha – I think Ron did that to me too.

  35. There is a pretty easy explanation for this. He’s Australian. They’re weird.

    I hope he has a dingo.

  36. I dunno. He has those high cheekbones- I think his bone structure can pull it off.

    As long as he’s taking it up the ass at the same time.

    I bet Keith loves those high cheekbone compliments.

  37. Rii

    I know plenty of Hot Woman Hair guys. Enough for it to be a little scary, but I’m used to it by now.
    This is just how it’s going to roll.
    Though I do hate the fact they can straighten their hair better then I can.

    And well you should.

  38. hey, if a dude can rock it, why not? it’s when it looks gross, stringy and disgusting that I start taking issue with it. Like Kid Rock, despite the fact that I DO like his music, his hair bugs the shit out of me.

    His hair is pretty gross.

  39. Keith Urban’s hair is luxurious! I’m kinda jealous. No no. I am REAL jealous. It looks like it comes with its own wind fan as an accessory. And a team of stylists that tackle him whenever a hair is outta place and spray him down. That is one impressive coif

    I know, I’m intimidated by it.

  40. i hate the ladyman phase our people are currently in! every time i see boys in skinny jeans and these stupid haircuts i want to punch them in their nonexistent nuts.

    Yeah, good luck finding them.

  41. If brett michaels gets to rock hot women hair or perhaps hair extensions why doesn’t keith urban.

    Because Bret likes the Steelers. Case closed.

  42. How does he get his hair to look so… WONDEROUS?!?! I must find out who does his hair. I need mine to look like that ASAP!

  43. i totally agree about the saw movies. i just watched the last one over the weekend. they really need to stop making those..they really are all the same.

    your title of the blog reminds me of the lyrics from “man in the mirror” haha

  44. On the upside, now when he goes down on me, it won’t seem gay.

  45. Kez

    Amen, brother. Amen.

  46. prettysandyfeet

    i totally agree. hence why i was glad when he cut his hair. but still it is crazy when a guys hair is nicer and silkier than mine.

  47. Okay, first of all, if your business cards were just a big lame photo of you with your name in gold, you’d be my hero.

    Second of all, well, there is no second of all. Please make those business cards.

  48. Just Playing Pretend

    Yum. Keith Urban and his hair do it for me.

  49. his hair looks better than mine…this makes me sad.

  50. Guy totes looks like a drag queen there. With very femmy Farrah hair

  51. Give it up – clearly you’re just jealous!

  52. keith urban reminds me of jennifer aniston.

    now i know why.

  53. highlights? straightener?

    he’s a woman.

  54. hautepocket

    It’s just not right that he has better hair than me.

  55. molly

    He’s cut 2 or 3 inches off since that picture. How about an update? That pic is about 5 years old.

  56. Soooo, I just performed an Experiment called: Read the last five of Chris’s posts in a row (been super fucking busy lately).

    In case nobody ever told you, you are extra funny when that happens. It’s like the jokes are neverending and the comedy just. keeps. coming! Prizes!

    Also– please please say someone commented on “Man Bangs”… I believe emo’s have been trying to pull them off for quite some time and I have to say: BANGS???!! Are for girls. TYVM.

  57. What upsets me more is how many celebrity baby boys are forced to have this haircut. Like look at Kate Hudson’s kid – looks like a girl, but he’s a boy. Celine Dion’s kid? Same thing. Why are we forcing our little boys to have long hair? Mark my words: if I ever have a boy, he won’t have long hair until he’s old enough to live on his own.
    (Oh god, I sound like my mom).

  58. longredcape

    In agreement with Molly. That pic is oollllldd.

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