For those of you who do not know me my name is JP (I do this sometimes). I’m like a creepy single version of Chris (better looking though) who I’ve known for 17 years now. Just as loud and obnoxious, and I’m also well versed in the art of making fun.
Chris asked me to watch his dog, and I said only if I can torture the loyal Surviving Myself readers with my nonsense. So while you read this I will be letting Jack eat people food and watch the scary movies Chris and Ari won’t allow.
Ok, we all know the only true way to be saved is through Jesus. The hard part is finding a way to make him a part of our everyday life.
Sike! Aw man you should have seen your face!
Oh, right the blog thing.
How bout the time Chris and I made fun of the guy with the orange and yellow sherbet colored over-sized shirt.
Chris: Dude your shirt looks like an old school car wash!
Dude: Bro, you don’t know about [some brand nobody knows about].
Me: Nobody knows about that shit!
Dude: This shirt cost $80!
Chris: You paid too much!!!
This went on and on. It was amazing that there was no fight.
Now I wanted tell you some crazy high school stories, but I can’t remember them. All we did was drive around in my 83 Volvo 240, smoke blunts/joints and listen to either Bob Marley, Wu-Tang or Korn. ‘Cause we were way too fucking cool to be pigeon-holed.
Although, there was this awesome time we were cutting class…
We met after 2nd period, snuck out the back by the locker rooms, and didn’t even make it 50 yards before Owen (head security guy) spotted us. We bolted for the street. A mere fence to hop and we were off school soil!
It looked like we were in the clear, but out of nowhere one of Owen’s goons appeared and cut off the route! We were forced to cut through the parking lot. It was looking bad. The lot was huge, they were gaining on us, and more were surely on their way (yes, there were a lot of security guards). We weren’t gonna make it through the lot.
Suddenly a mini-van screeched out of the edge of the lot, and its sliding door flew open.
Cute girl: “Get in!”
It was like the A-Team! We both fucking jumped into the van and it peeled out of the lot. We flipped off the security goons, and high-fived. Triumphant!
Then it was just us, two of the hottest girls in school, and a bag of dirty schwag weed.
Cue porno music.
That’s all from me. Just make sure you reference that I am cooler than Chris in the comment section.