uncle leroy

I wonder if whoever painted this meant it as an insult? I can’t see it any other way. This was probably what happened:

Uncle Leroy: “Hey there Curtis, why don’t you paint a picture of me? You’re always up in your bedroom painting, but I never see anything good. Now I’m not trying to be mean, just statin’ the facts. Go on and paint a little pic of your uncle Leroy, that’ll be something you can be proud of.”

Curtis: [Under his breath] “Oh sure, I’ll paint a picture of you, I’ll paint a picture of you burning in hell!

Uncle Leroy: “What? What’d you say?”

Curtis: “I said ‘Sure I’ll paint a picture of you.'”

Uncle Leroy: “Oh, right. Well, get on with it then!”

[A week passes. Uncle Leroy is, unfortunately, visiting Curtis once again. He is seated on the couch and listening to ZZ Top on the stereo, when Curtis enters the room, painting in hand.]

Curtis: [Holding the painting up for Leroy to see] “Well, what do you think?”

Uncle Leroy: “Uh, well, I mean, usually I wear a belt with jeans.”

Curtis: “Well, usually I want you to die in a car accident, but we can’t have everything we want, now can we? What do you think of the arm?”

Uncle Leroy: [Smiles] “Perfect. My right arm has always been huge, because of the muscles and all that.”

Curtis: “That’s what I thought you’d say.”

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21 Comments

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21 responses to “uncle leroy

  1. He looks kind of like a chair with a mustache. “All the better to molest you with, my dear.”

    I think he has that on a bumper sticker.

  2. This, for some reason, has me thinking about Men In Black. It’s like he’s in the midst of changing into a bug. I can feel it.

    Gross.

  3. Please tell me that was painted on the side of a van. Kicks the shit out of any wizards or unicorns.

    Man, I wish it was, it was actually on a wall somewhere.

  4. He’s got some really sexy rolls imitating six pack abs.

    So hot.

  5. Hahahaha! That arm looks so realistic. He really captured the look of a REAL arm.

    So realistic, this painter has a future.

  6. Why does the left half of the painting look unfinished while the right half looks done?

    And is it just me or does it look like the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite?

    Yes, it totally does! “How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? Yeah. Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would’ve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.”

  7. I don’t think those are jeans– I think they’re those awesome polyester pants that people wore in the 70’s! SWEET.

    You went and bought a pair, didn’t you?

  8. This literally just made my day.

    Yes!

  9. CapriceClassic

    Since Uncle Leroy wasn’t there during the time of painting, Curtis obviously had to use a bean bag chair to substitute for his body. I give it a solid D+!

    Not bad, not bad at all.

  10. It reminds me of a Cezanne painting. Not that that means anything.

    I don’t know who Cezanne is anyway.

  11. Kez

    Hee hee. That painting is quite bad!

    Yes.

  12. “usually i wear a belt with jeans” made me laugh. good one.

    Thanks.

  13. bwp

    It looks like that is painted on a high school gym floor. Man, would that be sweet.

    Would the team name be The Leroys??? That would be sweet too!

  14. I love a man who can wear a ‘tache like that with pride. Hope it wasn’t just painted in.

    We can only hope.

  15. Curtis: hmm…I think I will add a couple more belly rolls. because otherwise it won’t be realistic.

    Yes, that was needed.

  16. Am I the only person out there who actually has an uncle named Leroy? He is way funnier than this picture… My brother saw him out jogging in a half shirt and runner shorts. Now that’s funny.

    Hahaha – oh man that is awesome.

  17. hahahahahaha

    leroy.

    He seemed nice enough.

  18. Stephanique1

    I like the glow around him. Kinda looks like a modern day Jesus.

  19. ugh…it looks like a portrait of any one of the members of Three Dog Night. And I am now mad at myself for capitalizing the name of that band.

  20. Is that a billboard? It looks like one of those ads that try to force people to find God…or Uncle Leroy is gonna visit you in bed.

    I’m on my way to church, I swear!

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