either or

I often grapple with many difficult questions, such as why are my feet always so hot? Who told K-Fed that he should pursue a music career? Why don’t more people give more respect to the movie Taps?

While those are all great questions, arguably the hardest question I’ve ever tried to answer is who I like better, Batman or Superman. I know right away what the most of you are going to say. It’s Batman, and the only reason you might not vote for Batman is because they put nipples on his suit in Batman & Robin.

But I don’t think it’s that clear cut.

I think Superman is vastly underrated in the super hero realm and because of his Good Guy image, he gets a bad rap.

Here’s how I try and solve this dilemma:  Who would I rather go to a bar with?

At first it would seem that again, Batman is the easy choice. But life is never that easy.   If it was, I’d have my first book published and Eva Mendes would be all “Oh, you’re hot, do me!” at my book signing and I’d be all “Nah, it ain’t like that.”

If I was at a bar with Batman, all night long I’d be trying to keep up with his coolness, which is basically impossible. He’d be talking to women and I’d just be sitting there, bored out of my mind. All my guy friends wouldn’t want to hear my stories anymore, because let’s be honest, while the time I told a guy he looked like Crocodile Dundee is funny, it can’t compare to the 437 times Batman saved someone’s life.

While I’d be playing second fiddle to Batman, if I went to a bar with Superman, it’d be completely different. Because he’s such a nice guy, he’d make sure I was part of the conversation at all times, and even maybe give me one or two of his stories to pass off as my own.

Even with this thought out, I still cannot decide which super hero I like better. But at least I am certain of one thing, no matter which one I was with, we’d all end up making fun of Aquaman by the end of the night, and really, isn’t that what matters most?


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33 responses to “either or

  1. I have to completely disagree.

    Batman isn’t even a real Super Hero. Superman could do all kinds of awesome bar tricks with his super powers and Batman would still just be a rich guy in a stupid suit. I bet he even pops his Bat Collar.

    That would be unacceptable.

  2. Batman. Every time. Never underestimate “cool by association,” right?

    Besides, every time Superman put on his glasses to read the menu, everyone would be like, “What? Where did Superman go? Who’s this Clark Kent cat?” F that.

    Hahaha – good point.

  3. ron

    Batman takes it, read the dark knight returns and…. Aquaman is more underrated than taps! Better yet read Kingdom Come.. awesome graphic novel.

    Dude how bad ass was Taps though? I need to watch it again.

  4. Poor Aquaman doesn’t get any respect. Swimming super fast and talking in sea creature language is pretty bad ass.

    Next time you’re at the beach and a shark tries to eat you, you’ll rue the day you made a crack about Aquaman!

    Mark my words!

    I am marking them.

  5. Superman is hotter.

    End of story.

    And batman has that crazy ass voice that I hate.

    He had to do the voice! Otherwise people would recognize him!

  6. Also you could talk about how stupid The Flash is… I mean, wasn’t his only power that he could run fast? Or did he have more? If it is only “run fast”, then just go to Kenya and there will be a jillion superheroes!

    As far as Superman goes, I just think he has just one too many superpowers. He really just has it all. But I think I would have to go with him as my favorite because… The Adventures of Lois and Clark? That was some good TV.

    Yes it was. I always though that Terri Hatcher never looked hotter.

  7. Batman.

    I’ve never been a Superman fan, so I’m clearly biased. Plus, I’d rather have a super rich guy than one that works at a newspaper.

    Yeah, he’d be broke for sure.

  8. Via comicbookland, Batman is so much cooler than Superman.

    I know, but you have to consider everything here.

  9. while i am not a super fan like shaquile o’neal i love me some superman. i’ve been a fan since louis and clark but tom welling really sealed the deal for me. meow.

    But how lame was Superman Returns overall? Boring!

  10. That’s awesome. This is a classic, age-old question. It’s almost as if the LeBron-Kobe thing is just a second-rate version of Batman-Superman.
    I guess I never saw it like that — Superman being “the nice guy.” But if we’re talking purely who’s the better superhero, and not who would be more fun on a roller coaster, I’m going to have to say, Batman. His story is real. That could have like, really happened. But planet Krypton? Really? But you’re right — in the end, making fun of Aquaman really is all that matters.

    He deserves it.

  11. bwp

    I am a big Batman fan, so I’m biased. I just think Superman is sort of a douche. There, I said it.

    He’s going to fry you with his heat vision now, you know that right?

  12. You have converted me, friend. I am all about including people in conversations, and Superman reflects a social quality I try to cultivate in myself.

    One I am trying to get into myself as well.

  13. I’ll cry and vent to Superman because he can provide shoulders to cry on and counsel me. But of course, I’ll do Batman. Haha. Talking about having the best of both worlds.

    I get Superwoman!

  14. And Brandon Routh was kinda hot if you are into the pretty boys.

    I got to go with Batman, though. I mean, he doesn’t have super powers. He is just awesome.

    But he’s got a lot of issues, are you sure you want all that baggage?

  15. jay grochalski

    never underestimate a guy where women are concerned. sure, superman seems nicer but then if you try angling in on some chick he digs, imagine the outcome of that bar fight. sure, Batman could beat your ass too, but at least you have half a chance with him. I’d go to the bar with Superman, but i’d make sure to bring some Kryptonite…encased in a lead box of course.

    That’s the best idea, be prepared to knock his ass out if you need to.

  16. I’m going under the premise that they wouldn’t be going to bars as the superhero, they’d be going as their alter egos. And I would much rather hang out with Bruce Wayne than that nerd Clark Kent.

    Yeah, Clark would be awful.

  17. Superman is the way to go. Batman might get those odd “Whose that creep in the mask?” look. Who wants to be a wingman to that?

    CK, on the other hand, will garner “Oh, wonder what’s it like to be with him”. When they all can’t go with him, I could pick from the rest. Then again, he’s got that odd cape thing.

    They both have a cape though!

  18. saratogajean

    I feel like Batman would be the asshole friend that always gets into a fight at the bar because he refuses to stop hitting on everyone’s girlfriend.

    Just because you can doesn’t mean you should, Batman. Jeez.

    Yes, I bet he was a total frat boy in college.

  19. Stephanique1


    Because Robin is a total doucher.

    Hey, now no one mentioned Robin, and there’s a reason for that.

  20. Dude, the only thing Batman could do is pick up your tab. In itself is awesome, especially if you drink like me. Superman is the ultimate wing-man. Blowing up popped collar douche bags with heat vision. Scoping the scene for “commando” style chicks with x-ray vision. Come on, Superman, hands down.

  21. Well… if I choose Batman, do I get Robin too? Saweeeet.

  22. Matt

    I agree with Eric comment. Clark Kent is an idiot… Bruce Wayne.. he is a playboy.

    The answer should be obvious.

  23. Dude, it’s all about the car.

  24. Teresa

    Why do you have to choose?

  25. How about He-Man. He’d totally let you have all the chicks. But only if you let him cuddle you a bit in the men’s room first.

  26. Kazaam was a pretty kick ass superhero. Yeah, I know he was technically a genie, but he rapped while he granted wishes. I’d like to see Batman do that.

    You have earned two points for referencing K-Fed in your blog post. You would have earned an extra point if you could have named one of his songs.

  27. What about Wonderwoman? She’s hotter and maybe you’d get some after she has a few beers in her… Eh, eh?

  28. batman…because he’s a badass. duh!

  29. I’m a Batman fan. Always have been. Even (especially) with the nipples (I’ve got a thing for Val Kilmer… yes you can laugh now).

  30. it’s all about batman. especially if christian bale is batman.

  31. I’m going to go with Batman and here’s why…

    If I went to the bar with Superman, I’d be the chick with the guy wearing red underwear in public.

    I don’t want to be that chick.

  32. Superman. I’ve always liked nerds with a surprising hot side.
    Now you have me wondering, Wonderwoman or Bionic Woman. I know, I know, it’s not the same thing.

  33. mel

    I am gonna have to go Superman on this one.

    Do you sleep with your feet out from under the covers?

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