minus one

I should explain first that I hate the show Jon & Kate Plus 8. When Ari watches it I want to punch myself in the face until I pass out, because if I wanted to listen to eight kids screaming and yelling I’d, I don’t know, have some fucking kids.

With that, because I’ve seen the show, I can’t help but notice how shitty Kate is to Jon. If you’ve seen it, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Jon is like a shell of a man, which I guess is what happens when you have eight kids, but Kate definitely makes it worse.

But now there are rumors of a security guard catching Jon in the act of cheating on his wife, and I feel like screaming “Yes! Jon has his life back!”

I’m not saying cheating is a positive, but really, this is a Good Thing. And don’t tell me about how it’s bad because “What about the kids???” Do you think it’s better for kids to grow up in a house where the parents hate each other or one with just one parent?

Exactly.

So this is just to say, “Hello Jon. It’s nice to have you back among the living.”

Also, tell Kate her hair is weird.

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45 Comments

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45 responses to “minus one

  1. rachel

    I really don’t get the Jon & Kate plus 8 stuff…and especially not the Duggar’s.

    It makes me want to scream, “STOP HAVING SO MANY FREAKIN’ KIDS!”

    But then they’d know that I’d watched and I just can’t give them that satisfaction…

    Exactly.

  2. I totally wrote about this show on my blog forever ago…

    But anywho, you’re right, and my boyfriend says the same thing. Kate’s a serious bitch to her husband. I hope Jon did cheat and maybe he can get out of that crazy ass marriage.

    Plus, a show about attempting to share the custody of 8 kids would be so much better anyway.

    TLC would love it.

  3. Never watched the show, but have you seen that “Little People, Big World” (or whatever) show? Now that’s some lame shit.

    That is all. Carry on.

    No, I try and stay away from shows that suck, but because Ari likes this one, I can’t.

  4. I can’t bring myself to watch a full episode of that show because kids weird me out. I can’t handle watching 8. I also avoid that show with that family that has like 17 kids. UGh… it makes my vag hurt.

    It’s a freak show.

  5. Her hair is weird.

    I only made it thru half a show, once. I, too, wanted to punch myself in the face.

    Who dreams this crap up.

    Consider yourself lucky.

  6. I have never watched the show because 8 kids sounds like my personal nightmare, but I imagine if I did somehow end up with 8 kids I’d probably be a raging bitch, too. Just saying.

    Yes, but somehow he’s not at all. So what does that mean?

  7. I don’t understand why anyone would want to watch these shows.

    Plus, I’m really against encouraging people to have a lot of children (my dad has seven other than me and lives in 1000 sq. ft. with only one bathroom. Shudder.), and I think these shows just glorify it and now people are having wild monkey sex not for the sake of wild monkey sex, but so they can get on TV for having 37 children. Not okay.

    Not okay at all.

  8. If my two kids are sleeping and my house is quiet, I am for damn sure not inviting eight hellians into it (even if it’s only via the TV.)

    She’s bitchy, he’s weak and the kids are zoo creatures (cute, but annoying.)

    I think that about sums it up.

  9. Yes, she is a total harpy shrew, but I am pretty sure she has always been that way and he still married her.

    Those kids are already totally fucked because they have grown up with a camera in their face. The divorce won’t make it much worse.

    Good point.

  10. Kind of a weak way out, but I understand why he would be motivated. I would have committed sepuku ages ago with 8 kids and a bitch for a wife. Guess cheating will do the same thing to his bank account later.

    Yeah, he can kiss half goodbye.

  11. Tim

    Was the joke that he was caught cheating with octomom too bad and obvious that the 10 commenters above me avoided it?

    And I want to punch the face of whoever wrote that article. A UFC fighter with a kick me sign on his back? Come on man.

    I know, fucking terrible article.

  12. red

    I read he already apologized for cheating so, really, he’s still a pussy…or so I imagine. I’d never watch that crap either.

    Like today? Well, maybe he apologized but he’s still humping around?

  13. this just goes along with my theory that kids ruin relationships. u should read the post i wrote yesterday about kids.

    I did, I know what you’re saying.

  14. She be a total biatch. Can I say that here? And you’re so right, her hair so messed up!

    Can you say that? Seriously? Of course you can swear here. Fuck, shit, ass, cock, bitch.

  15. wny has no one mentioned her heavy handed application of blush? It’s like a clown, which makes her even more scary.

    Scary clowns!

  16. jay grochalski

    hmmm…i don’t know these people.

    It’s better that way.

  17. Stephanique1

    His lady friend was just helping him look for his balls.

    Ha! I bet she was.

  18. WORD. Kate has very weird hair.

    She is also very awful to him…and I sort of feel like if she’s that bad on camera, she must be even worse off camera! SCARY

    Exactly, she must be nuts off camera.

  19. If you ever want to set Twitter a flutter–say something about Kate being a giant bitch. You will be flooded with “OMG! YES!” and “Can’t stand that awful wench!” tweets. And then you can sit back and think to yourself, “man. i am such a good judge of character. even everyone on twitter agrees with me.” And then you can watch the show knowing that everyone in America hates her as much as you. And suddenly you enjoy the show again. Promise.

  20. Kate’s hair is lop sided these days… not symmetrical at all!

    😉 Poor Jon… she is a BIATCH!

  21. So, SO agree with you!

    Kate is a total bitch to her husband, which is the exact reason why I never watch it.

    That and the kids drive me crazy.

  22. that bitch is psycho.

  23. saratogajean

    I love that show for the exact same reason you hate it.

    It’s visual birth control.

    Yeah, those kids are cute, but NO. A million times, no.

  24. I like saratogajean’s theory.

    Also, you know John’s going to get a million pity fucks for putting up with her once he’s officially “on the market” again.

  25. Jon didn’t follow the number one rule of being a dad.

    Don’t ever be home.

  26. Thankfully, I’ve never had the pleasure of watching it. Kids freak me out a little, and that many of them? No. No.

    Her hair’s whacked and all, but has anyone mentioned his appearance? That’s not going to grow out. 😦

  27. tia

    her hair is AWFUL.

    and she’s really mean to Jon. don’t get me wrong, i’m mean to Hubs sometimes too, but not in front of COMPANY.

    hahah.

  28. Her hair is particularly maddening.

    Jon seems like he checked out of that marriage long ago.

  29. mel

    I actually feel bad for him. I mean yeah its not great that he cheating on his wife but seriously the way she treats him, can you blame him?

    I wonder if they live in a no fault state?
    I would hate to have to pay child support on that brood.

  30. tennyson ee hemingway

    I have no idea what you’re talking about but I agree with you 100%. I’d also like to sign up for your pamphlet.

  31. Ok I thought it was just me, she is mean as fuck. She should suck the shit out of his dick for being so patient and sticking around to deal with that handful…I just hope he doesn’t knock up the girl on the side…

  32. kate has the weirdest fucking hair EVER. horrible highlights and opposite mullet (long in the front short in the back) – horrific.

  33. agreed. I hope when they break up they give jon his own dating show or something. fuck kate.

  34. FINALLLLLLLLY I swear, Kate is like the Devil on earth. She’s the biggest bitch on tv, and I’ve been saying since the show first started that I can’t wait for the day they get divorced.

  35. I bet they have not had sex in years, I mean really how would they find the time? Any chance they get one of the 57 kids they have probably walks in the room.

  36. Amaya

    Never seen the show so I can’t comment, really but the idea of having 8 kids and sustaining a marriage is mind-boggling.

  37. You know, for someone who hates the show, you talk about it an awful lot. Enough, in fact, to make me feel guilty for never having seen a single episode.

  38. I TOTALLY agree. Kate is SOOO mean to her husband. And I hate her hair. She needs someone to help her.

  39. Matt

    He knew she was a bitch before he had eight kids with her.

    I dont feel bad for him at all.

  40. Kate

    Alright Chris, this is the last Jon & Kate Plus 8 comment I’m gonna let slide. That’s enough now.

  41. Susie

    The Soup once had a segment called “and next season…Jon Minus 9.”

  42. I’ve seen clips of the show. She’s always that mean? And then people watch it? And it’s entertaining? What the hell?

  43. AMEN BROTHER. Oh my god, my roommate watches that show during the day, and I always come in and find her caught up in a marathon. The screaming…the screaming. Plus, the parents act like they are the first people ever to have children. They were interviewed and I heard Kate say “If they want to eat dessert, they have to clean their plates.” And I was like, “WHOA, DON’T GET ALL MOTHER OF THE YEAR ON US ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU MATRONLY GODDESS OF ALL UTERI.”

    Instead of making up that lame excuse, he really should have just said “Hear me out, bitches, because I know you’ll understand.” And I would have understood.

  44. A

    Ahhh! Finally, someone who has some senses! I swear, everytime I say that I hate this show, people look at me like I have eight heads.

    She is soooo mean to Jon, I can’t believe he lets her talk to him the way she does. I would never, ever, ever speak that way to my husband. My sister aspires to be just like Kate (she has five kids) and oh boy, I tell her she’s insane.

    And if people say “what about the kids?” they deserve to be slapped, because obviously the kids haven’t been considered, since their privacy has been exploited since they were infants, just to make a profitable TV show.

  45. So… I’m guilty of liking the show but I’m 100% sure my boyfriend agrees with you. I watch it because it reminds me of the daycare I used to work at but we both enjoy discussing how… “witchy” Kate is and one man can only take so much.

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