Tag Archives: blogs are important

don’t call it a comeback

I’ve decided to keep Surviving Myself alive. In the time that I was gone from the blogging world, I found that I did miss the writing, so here we are, once again.

I chose to keep the blog going because one day when I was sitting on my stoop, a young man approached me, and stuck out his hand.

“Pleased to meet you,” he began. “My name is Ralphie, and I loved your blog.  If I don’t eat, I don’t care. If I don’t ever know the warm embrace of a woman or a smallish farm animal, I don’t care. But I must tell you: I care if you quit blogging. So please, please keep it going.”

I shook his hand, and replied, “Nice to meet you Ralphie. I’m going to keep blogging because of your kind words. Now get away from me you freak.”

Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever hear from young Ralphie again. But his message rang clear: The blog must go on. With some minor changes, of course:

  1. I’m going to post whenever I feel like it now. That means I might post five times in one day, or not at all for a few. This also means that I might post at 4:47 AM after drinking too much. I apologize in advance for those posts, which will definitely include numerous swear words and possible some lamenting over my biological father WHO ABANDONED ME. Uh, sorry.  Moving on.
  2. Now that I’m at number two, I’ve realized that there really isn’t a number two. I said pretty much everything I wanted to say in number one. So. Why don’t you ever see thin rhinoceros? They can’t all be fat.

I have to say it feels good to be back. So thanks for all the kind words on my last post, and to the one guy who bribed me with pictures of a seal hitting a guy in the face with his tail: Please send more.

Onward and upward my friends. Well, at least onward.


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I’m not going to be around today, but I wanted to post something real quick thanking everyone who voted for me for Funniest Blog on 20 Something Bloggers.  This is how my Sunday ended:

  1. Drank and yelled a lot about the Steelers game.  Also, punched the couch at least six times.  This is how Intelligent Men prove a point.
  2. Saw the Steelers clinch the win with an interception by the best safety in the league, Troy Polamalu.  You read that right Ed Reed.
  3. Got a text from Alexa telling me that I won Funniest Blog.
  4. Drank and yelled more, only this time about happy things.  Decided to leave the couch alone, figuring it learned its lesson.

Anyway, thanks again to everyone who voted and everyone who reads my crap, I appreciate it.  I’ll be back tomorrow with more hard-hitting analysis of the discovery of methane gas on Mars and what it means for the future of the automotive industry.  Or maybe I’ll just talk about how Paul Blart: Mall Cop was the number one movie over the weekend which clearly indicates The End Of Days is upon us.


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so good it hurts

The problem with being a blogger is trying to convince people that you don’t suck.


I don’t like telling people I even have a blog.

In person that is.

Through the magical world of computer communication I tell everyone, because I don’t have to actually look them in their Judging Eyes when I tell them.

When someone lets loose that I do have a blog, and I can’t avoid the confrontation through witty comments like, “Blog? Blog? Who’s a silly frog?” they typically have one of two reactions.

Either they feign interest to try and be nice: “Oh! That’s cool! I’ll have to check it out. Now let me tell you about this carpet I saw the other day.” This person, convinced that they’ve done a Good Thing, forgets that they never actually ask for the address of my “cool” blog.

The second reaction can be best be described as Utter Panic. This person doesn’t know how to deal with the notion that they think my blog probably sucks, thus them telling me something that they think will help: “Well, you really should think about going back to school.”

Overall, it’s a shitty experience.

Once the word is out though, there’s no turning back, so I must then try and convince People Who Are More Successful Than Me that my blog will one day lead me to fame and riches beyond my wildest dreams.

Or at least a new sweater.

The problem is that people think just because I don’t have my name attached to something they recognize – like Gawker (call me!) – I can’t possibly be a good writer.

Well, dammit, I am a good writer. At least that’s what my Mom tells me. And she’s pretty much always right.

And this is a good blog.

The only reason I’m not rich and famous from it is because I kinda forgot that I like to write until I wasted thousands of dollars on a degree I don’t use, got bogged down in a job in that field for awhile and maybe not too many people read it.

So really, when you think about it, this blog is the Best Thing Ever.

Aside from Robocop and chocolate covered pretzels.

That’s some tough competition.


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