After work yesterday I was walking my dog Jack and I stumbled upon something odd, even by Brooklyn standards.
I turned onto a street that I typically walk down, and noticed that up ahead a woman was standing with her back to me, near a tree. As I got closer I saw a stroller next to her with a baby inside, and in front of her, a small child with his pants around his ankles, pissing on the tree.
At first I thought this couldn’t be what I thought it was, but sure enough, there was a tiny stream of pee hitting the tree. Of course the woman was just standing there like this was part of her family’s normal Wednesday.
It’s not like the peeing kid was really young either, he was about four years-old. But there he was, hanging out with his wang out, peeing all over a tree like he was a college kid who just did an a keg stand.
As I passed by, I gave the lady a look of “Well, you shocked me. And I’ve had a crackhead try to sell a tent to me.” But she didn’t seem to mind, she was calmly standing there like this type of thing is Okay.
Which makes me wonder if it really is. Maybe her husband just pisses wherever he wants? Maybe when she has to go number two, she pops a squat right then there. You know, live in the moment and all that.
I’d love to go to one of their family reunions.