Last night, while I was watching basketball and trying to convince my dog that my hand was not a chew toy, a commercial came on for a video game that can be controlled entirely by your voice.
That’s just what all the geeks need. Now, instead of just sitting on their parent’s couch playing video games for six hours straight, they can yell commands the entire time too. That will really help them with speaking to a woman other than their mom.
Video game companies need to stop this madness. How about developing a game that will actually help all those dudes out there who would rather defeat the evil warlord than talk to a woman?
I think a video game that dealt with real dating situations would be helpful to these guys.
Imagine the possibilities:
Level 1: Getting the number of an attractive female
The player must navigate a world in which one mention of living in his parent’s house means immediate doom. Also, talking about any hobby that involves “collecting” is strictly prohibited and will result in the woman telling the player “Actually, I have a boyfriend” even though she doesn’t.
Level 2: The First Date
The player must take the woman to a dining location that does not involve super sizing anything. Bonus points are available if the player manages to get the woman to laugh with him and not at him.
Level 3: Sealing The Deal
The player must somehow convince the woman that he lives on his own but she cannot actually see his place. Acceptable excuses include: “I’m getting it painted right now” and “I’m having solar panels put in because the Earth is important or something” but not “I’m a failure and live with my parents and man do I hate doing chores.” If the player makes it to her place and gets the woman to remove at least one article of clothing (coat does not count) then the player wins.
I think this game is needed way more than one that lets a dude yell out war commands to direct his army.
Maybe if the guys are lucky the next version will include something about getting out of their parent’s house and taking the heating pad out of their car.
(If you want to read some crap about me, then please head over to Cleveland’s A Plum, where I am the Featured Blogger today. It’s my first interview! Suck it Brad Pitt.)