On Friday, a couple of friends and I went out after work for happy hour.
We went to a place in Murray Hill, which is an area of the city crawling with young professionals who think they are cooler than they really are.
After about an hour, a tall model-type woman approached the three of us, and just started rambling. She thought that because she was hot, she was able to act like a total bitch and patronize us.
She didn’t know who she was dealing with.
Tall Stupid Model Woman: [Looking at none of us, in a Stupid Accent] “Hello. Do you work around here?”
[The three of us look at each other, and I wait for the single guy I’m with to give it a go]
Single Guy: “Yeah, right over on Madison and 32nd.”
Tall Stupid Model Woman: [Still not looking at anyone, and making it obvious that she was not impressed] “Oh. Where is that?”
Me: [Pointing in the direction of our building] “It’s right over there.”
[I’m already annoyed that she has not looked at one of us yet]
Tall Stupid Model Woman: “And what do you do there?”
Me: “We write about advertising.”
Tall Stupid Model Woman: [Sighs with obvious disinterest] “Oh. Does that pay a lot?”
[We laugh a little because of how bitchy that was, and my anger grows]
Me: “Uh, it pays enough. And what do you do?”
[I’m glaring at her now]
Tall Stupid Model Woman: [Raising her eyebrows] “I do not work.”
Me: [Laughing at her] “Oh, right. Of course you don’t. And how do you pay your bills?”
Tall Stupid Model Woman: [Looks up into the sky] “I have no bills.”
[We all start laughing now]
Me: [Throwing my hands in the air] “Oh! You have no bills?” [Turning to the crowd of people on the roof deck] “This woman has no bills! None!”
Me: [Thinking it’s time to really have some fun] “So you have no bills. You’re not real, is what you’re telling me. So where do you live?”
Tall Stupid Model Woman: “I grew up in Brooklyn.”
Me: [Throwing my hands in the air once again, and yelling] “Nope! No you didn’t! You’re telling me that you grew up in Brooklyn and you don’t know where Madison Avenue is??? No. No, you did not grow up in Brooklyn.”
[She grows red and tries to shrug it off by starting to say something else]
Me: [Cutting her off] “So I just met a woman who has no bills and grew up in Brooklyn but has no idea where Madison Avenue is??? This must be my lucky day! Thank you! Thank you so much for talking with us today!”
At this point, she turns around and leaves. We are all laughing our asses off and the bouncer who was behind us the entire time is just shaking his head.
I think I won one for all the men out there that have been shit on by women who dupe them into doing Stupid Things just because they are hot.
Not on Friday.
On Friday the Normal Dudes won and the Hot Women lost.
Don’t make me have to do it again.