There are currently hundreds of top scientists from around the world trying to build an elevator that would take stuff into space.
From places as far away and weird as Japan. And Nebraska.
I’m kind of confused by this plan, because I always thought that scientists are supposed to be working on Things That Matter, not building a box that goes really high and maybe lets people touch stars or something.
If I was Chief Science Person, then I’d probably be directing our world’s brightest minds to tasks that really need tending to.
How about a liquor that doesn’t make you yell “I’m fucking awesome!” at random dudes with biceps the size of your head?
Or what about milk that disappears when it expires, instead of tempting you to play the Milk Roulette game and ask yourself, “Is the risk of puking worth having a bowl of Count Chocula?”
And while the scientists are at it, maybe they could invent Socially Acceptable Flannel, just so all the rednecks could have one thing to tell people they know more about than anyone else.
These are just a couple things that I think are more worthy than building a damn elevator to Uranus.
I can’t end on that joke, can I?
I mean, that’s not bad. It’s not good, but c’mon, think about an elevator to your butt.
Unless you have already, and if that’s the case, maybe you should call the scientists and give them some pointers.