With the economy in the crapper, it seems like the subway platforms here in the city are getting more and more crowded with people singing and playing instruments for money.
This strategy is a flawed one of course, because 1) No one who sings in the subway is good and 2) Because they sound like cats dying, no one feels compelled to give them any money.
There are the few people that are so mad they actually give them money in hopes that this will make them stop singing, but this never works.
I don’t understand why the subway panhandlers don’t just change their overall strategy altogether.
What they need to do is offer people that pass by random tips about life – that taken separately will be entirely vague, but in the end make sense in some way to each person that hears them.
Here are some phrases that the beggars could offer up which would inevitably strike a chord with someone:
“That guy just didn’t get the joke. It wasn’t that it wasn’t funny – it was just too smart.”
“It’s okay – I like Keith Urban too.”
“Her sister is annoying.”
“I thought that shirt looked great.”
“Maybe next time you’ll drink even more – that’ll show them.”
“What were you supposed to do? Not touch her boob?”
The list of things they could say is practically never ending. They just need to utter some sparadoc thought, wait for someone to identify with it, and reap the rewards.
I’m holding out though, because until I hear someone say, “Your blog is going to make you rich and famous and Michael Jackson is writing a comeback album all about it that in no way could be interpreted as him liking to touch little boys,” no one is getting my 37 cents.