I often grapple with many difficult questions, such as why are my feet always so hot? Who told K-Fed that he should pursue a music career? Why don’t more people give more respect to the movie Taps?
While those are all great questions, arguably the hardest question I’ve ever tried to answer is who I like better, Batman or Superman. I know right away what the most of you are going to say. It’s Batman, and the only reason you might not vote for Batman is because they put nipples on his suit in Batman & Robin.
But I don’t think it’s that clear cut.
I think Superman is vastly underrated in the super hero realm and because of his Good Guy image, he gets a bad rap.
Here’s how I try and solve this dilemma: Who would I rather go to a bar with?
At first it would seem that again, Batman is the easy choice. But life is never that easy. If it was, I’d have my first book published and Eva Mendes would be all “Oh, you’re hot, do me!” at my book signing and I’d be all “Nah, it ain’t like that.”
If I was at a bar with Batman, all night long I’d be trying to keep up with his coolness, which is basically impossible. He’d be talking to women and I’d just be sitting there, bored out of my mind. All my guy friends wouldn’t want to hear my stories anymore, because let’s be honest, while the time I told a guy he looked like Crocodile Dundee is funny, it can’t compare to the 437 times Batman saved someone’s life.
While I’d be playing second fiddle to Batman, if I went to a bar with Superman, it’d be completely different. Because he’s such a nice guy, he’d make sure I was part of the conversation at all times, and even maybe give me one or two of his stories to pass off as my own.
Even with this thought out, I still cannot decide which super hero I like better. But at least I am certain of one thing, no matter which one I was with, we’d all end up making fun of Aquaman by the end of the night, and really, isn’t that what matters most?