Tag Archives: larry david

insomnia is not great

I didn’t fall asleep last night (or this morning really) until 6 AM.

So the fact that I had about two hours of sleep last night is why this post is late and terrible.

I can’t think of anything witty and my thoughts are all jumbled because everything feels so surreal, like maybe I’m really in a spaceship like in the Matrix minus Keanu because he’d just annoy me anyway.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more stupid crap, but for now, maybe you can just watch this (it’s okay, you don’t really have to watch it, I understand).

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the man

I bet Jesus had a lot of friends.

If you lived back then, there is no way you wouldn’t try and be friends with Jesus. He was pretty much the Coolest Jew Ever.

Aside from Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.

I mean, we all know about the Apostles. Speaking of which, you know they hated being called the “Apostles” by Jesus. You know what apostles means in Hebrew? “A group of friends.” Lame! You mean to tell me that the Son of God couldn’t come up with something better than that??? Why not something cool like “J-Unit” or “The Terrible Twelve?” I’ll tell you why Judas betrayed Jesus – it had nothing to do with the Romans – the man was sick of that weak crew name.

On top of always rolling deep with the Apostles, Jesus was the life of any party. No more alcohol? Jesus has you covered player! He’d turn your well into a never ending supply of wine.

And the ladies!

Don’t tell me the ladies didn’t love them some Jesus. He had the long, flowing hair, the vast knowledge, and most of all, he was the one dude who could understand them.

Random Woman: “I just don’t understand John Son of Zebedee, he never asks me out anymore!”

Jesus: [Winking] “I know why you are upset my child. You fear that John did not enjoy the size of your thighs, but fear not, your thighs are heavenly.”

There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus had mad friends and was a pretty cool dude.

And yes, if you must know, he does read blogs.

He’s got this one bookmarked.

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another

well, it’s another blog. I have a sports related one that I’ve had for a little over a year now, but I wanted something where I could just hash out the crap that isn’t related to sports, yet somehow relevant to me. And maybe (hopefully) some of you. I’m not good with computers or anything, so don’t come here expecting any fancy things. I just like to write, and I usually have some things going in my head that I need to get out – so here you go.

I chose the picture for the blog because this is my stop on the c. Brilliant and creative right? Also, my picture/username is Apollo Creed, because I like Rocky and I thought it’d be fun to name it appollocreed. Then, after I made it that, I find out you can’t change the name. Which I was going to once I figured some witty thing to put in there, but since you can’t change it – there you go again.

Let’s see. Oh, I live with my girlfriend of about 4 years, and we just got a puppy named Jack. We got him from a shelter on LI, and he’s 5 months old. He’s a bit of a bitch, so you’ll be hearing about him I’m sure.

Also, I’m a cynic and I tend to make fun of lots of things. I have been called a “grumpy old man” more than once. So I might make some of you mad when I rant about something that I hate. Please take it all in stride, as my gf says, I am a lot like Larry David – you just have to get to know the real me.

But really, the real me isn’t that nice, so it is what it is. Anyway, first post done, and work is winding down (finally) so I hope to get the normal stuff rolling tomorrow.

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