Tag Archives: leprechauns are always drunk because they’re Irish

this is what i’m thinking about right now

Let’s say two of your relatively close friends convince you to go camping, even though you tell them that you’d rather punch yourself in the face six times in a row. On the first day it rains the entire day and your one friend complains about how he misses his ex-girlfriend even though everyone knows she is a total bitch.  On the second day it rains the entire day and your other friend spends two hours trying to convince you that the B-52s were one of pop music’s most underrated bands. On the third day it stops raining and while you’re away looking for dry wood for a fire that night, you stumble upon a drunk leprechaun.  You don’t judge the leprechaun for being drunk at 10:37 in the morning, and because of your unexpected kindness, the leprechaun decides to (for the first time in his life) stop drinking completely and hands you three gold coins.  He tells you that they are each worth 46 million dollars, but only if you give two of them away.  You cannot keep them all for yourself.  You start to question this, but before you can get your argument out, the leprechaun scolds you for questioning him, saying, “I might be drunk, but I am still a leprechaun, and you, you are just a sad man camping.”  You decide the leprechaun is right.  You then thank the leprechaun, he thanks you, and you return to camp.

Do you give these two gold coins from the now recovering alcoholic leprechaun to your two friends (after all,  if they hadn’t convinced you to come camping, you would’ve never been given the gold in the first place) or do you give them to two other, less annoying people?


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