People who stumbled upon my blog searching for “without underwear.”
Today I want to tell you something that I am extremely proud of.
In the right pocket of my pants right now, there is a stick of Burt’s Bees chapstick that I’ve had for three months now.
That’s right, you read that correctly, three months.
Do you even realize how difficult it is to keep the same chapstick for three months, without losing it once? It’s like getting Thom Yorke of Radiohead to stop being so damn weird all the time – an incredibly arduous task.
This is why my chapstick is a great source of pride for me.
Some people are proud of the way they’ve helped others, some people are proud of scholarly achievements, but I don’t want any part of that my friends.
No, let me bear the weight of keeping track of a single tube of chapstick, with each day of use dangerously raising the risk of losing it.
I will not be defeated!
And when I listen to people who say silly things like, “Dude it’s just chapstick, you can always buy another one,” I laugh! Oh how I laugh!
For these people do not realize what I’m really doing. These feeble-minded people, who treat their chapstick with the reckless abandon one treats their grandparents when they get too old to remember to send them money on their birthdays, do not understand.
I am persevering!
I am rising above the carelessness of every day life!
And most importantly, I am keeping a promise I made to a small Moroccan boy, whose parents could not afford chapstick, and who wanted me – no matter what happened – to never lose my chapstick.
Yes that small Moroccan boy never existed, but I will never forget him, and I will never forget my chapstick.