Tag Archives: my best friend looks like Dan Cortese

he never really left

Admit it – you were wondering where Dan Cortese has been.

You remember watching him on MTV Sports and thinking, “That guy has the best job in the world, and he even gets to act like a complete jack ass while doing it.”

Man do I miss the days where wearing a bandana was socially acceptable.

Man do I miss the days where wearing a bandanna was socially acceptable.

You loved the Seinfeld episode where Cortese plays George’s man crush Tony, the only Cool Guy George has ever been friends with. When Cortese tells George to “Step off” it made you smile. You thought: “Dan Cortese is someone I’d really like to have in my life.”

But then poof!

He disappeared.

But why do you read this blog? No, not because you’re lonely and have a job that makes you want to gut yourself, because I help you!

I found Dan Cortese. That’s right! While you were out living your life and Doing Things, I found that missing link, that whole in your heart, that hunk of a man that sometimes replaces your significant other in fantasies which is weird because you normally don’t like brunettes.

He’s about to star in a new show pitting athletes and “celebrities” against each other, called The Superstars.

There you have it.

You have Dan Cortese back in your life, all thanks to me. I don’t want gifts and I don’t want applause. I simply want to be able to wear a bandanna and have you say I look great.

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