Tag Archives: Swine Flu is not scarier than a new Creed album

everything to worry about

Somewhere, George Bush is kicking himself over this whole Swine Flu episode.

He’s beside himself with anger over not getting the chance to rev up fear among the public by over-hyping something not that serious. ┬áHe definitely would have invented some sort of warning code system for this.

Level 1: Little piggy. Please stay calm, but not too calm. You might live.

Level 2: Porky Pig. Do not touch anything ever or breathe more than ten times in one hour. You are probably going to die.

Level 3: Bacon Bits. EVERYONE RUN! RUN SOMEWHERE SAFE FROM AIR! AND WATER! AND DIRT! You will die by the time you finish reading this warning.

I guarantee you that Bush has had to stop himself from calling Obama and telling him to flip out about Swine Flu before it goes away.

Back in the day, aside from launching completely unnecessary wars, destroying the economy and speaking unintelligibly, freaking out over health concerns was one of Bush’s favorite past times.

SARS was a great time for Bush, and Bird Flu?  Talk about fun!

Alas, those days of getting everyone too scared to think about the real issues are behind us, but something tells me Bush is still up to his old tricks.

When there’s no more milk in his fridge, my money is on Bush taping off the kitchen, calling Laura (who is upstairs) and telling her they might not make it past lunch, and giving a speech to his cat about the impending doom.

That sounds about right.

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