Tag Archives: velour is the key to happiness

be a better man

I really hate it when people say they have no regrets.  Everyone has regrets.

Maybe it was that time you slept with that ugly chick/dude because you had one too many Icehouses, or maybe it was just getting up this morning.

Either way, everybody has regrets, even me.

Now I know you’re thinking, “But Chris, you have a blog!  What could you possibly feel badly about doing???”

It’s something that I’m not entirely proud of, so this is not easy for me to admit to you.

But here it is:  I’ve never worn a full track suit outfit.

I know!

I’ve never known what it was like to go out in public and have my clothing proclaim, “I am not afraid to wear pajamas outside of my apartment!”

The worst part about this is that I am a full supporter of sweat pants and the like being accepted as formal wear.  I’ve even advocated this to friends, suggesting that when they get married, sweat pants for all involved!  Of course they didn’t think this was such a great idea, especially the women.  But women are widely known to be Weird And Suspicious Creatures, so it doesn’t really surprise me.

Can you imagine living with this on your conscience?

Everyday I have to look at myself in the mirror, and immediately after I finish thinking about how I am quite the handsome man, I then remember my Track Suit Failure, and get sad on the inside.

Look, I’ve had 29 years to zip myself into some velvety heaven, and I haven’t done it.  It is wrong!

How can I, a respectable (at least on Tuesdays) human being, go through my life without having at least once walk down the streets wearing a track suit with the top unzipped exposing my bare chest to the world???

Well I can’t.

I can’t do it.

I can’t live with myself and it stops now.  I’m going to do some shopping and I’m going to pick out the best track suit my money will buy.

I’m talking the entire thing baby – velour to the floor.

No more regrets my friends.

No more.

In fact, if there’s ever a huge blogger meet-up, and I finally get to meet all of you fine people, just look for the guy in the velour track suit, smiling like he just found out he won the lottery.

That’ll be me.

 

(I’m going to be away tomorrow, but have no fear!  I have an awesome guest post ready for you, so please come back then and show that blogger your support.)

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