There are a lot of theories as to why the dinosaurs became extinct before I could ride one to work and finally have the rich guys in BMW’s envious of me, but yesterday afternoon while I was talking with another blogger, I had an epiphany about this subject.
Sure there might have been a meteor or whatever, but the real reason dinosaurs went extinct is because the guy dinosaurs kept trying to figure out what the lady dinosaurs were thinking, and eventually their tiny brains exploded.
This is really the best theory out of all of them, because if you ask any man now what women think he will 1) scrunch his face and look Thoughtful then 2) give some sort of vague answer and finally 3) punch himself in the face out of the frustration that comes with knowing that he does not know a damn thing.
And this is a man who is supposed to be evolved!
Imagine how hard this was for the guy dino, with his tiny little brain.
Dude T-Rex: [Notices his woman friend is in a bad mood] “You alright? You’ve barely touched your caveman stew. Too much pepper?”
Foxy Stegosaurus: [Looks up from her soup, with eyebrows raised] “Everything is fine.”
Dude T-Rex: “Oh, okay great – man you should have seen the look on Steve’s face when I threw that rock at his tail, he was–”
Foxy Stegosaurus: [Getting up abruptly from the dinner table] “You don’t even know who I am anymore!”
[Dude T-Rex watches Foxy Stegosuarus storms out of the cave, and as he tries to figure out what the hell just happened, his brain explodes and he dies]
This is probably what happened to the guy dinosaurs, and with no guys around to procreate with the ladies, the species eventually died off.
With this knowledge in hand, maybe next time a guy says, “So, what do you want to do tonight?” you women should actually tell us, instead of saying “Oh I don’t know” and then when we suggest something, you say “That’s a dumb idea.”
Either that or we all die.
Think about it.