Last night I watched a TV show called “I’m Not Supposed To Be Alive” on Animal Planet.
It’s about people who get attacked by animals and somehow make it out alive (awesome), and last night’s episode detailed the story of some vacationers in Africa who get stranded in the middle of a river once their boat capsizes.
One of the guys decides to attempt to swim to shore to go get help, even though at the moment, there are about 458 crocodiles in the river.
Of course the others with him question whether this is a good idea, saying that he’ll be sure to get killed. This struck me as odd, because my questions revolving around this trip would’ve started when my friend brought up the very idea of “vacationing” on a river infested with crocodiles, not when someone was about to die.
The guy finally convinces them their only hope is for him to swim, so he does. And he almost makes it – until he does something that is not very bright.
He arrives at the shore, only to spot a crocodile about ten feet away from him. So instead of running away from the crocodile, which I think is probably Rule Number One in the How To Not Get Eaten By A Crocodile Guide, the man goes back into the water and approaches the big lizard thing.
The crocodile, realizing that this man is not as smart as the zebra that evaded him during brunch earlier, promptly chomps the man’s arm and tries to eat him.
Eventually the man gets away by puncturing some sort of hole in the crocodiles mouth, and everyone gets rescued by some random people who happen to pass by on the river, meaning the guy did all of that for nothing.
Now everyone is happy to be alive, and I was happy to have heard about a crocodile attack, but the issue still remains – what the hell was wrong with that guy who went after the crocodile?
I guarantee that when everything settled down and that group of friends hung out again – that guy was not making any decisions.
When he suggested a bar – they went to a different one.
When he told everyone he knew about a party – they decided to go home instead.
That guy has officially given up all merit as a decision maker. If he couldn’t figure out that attacking a crocodile is worse than running from a crocodile, there is no way he can be allowed to influence others ever again.
In fact, I bet he’s the one who suggested vacationing on a death river in the first place.