When I was growing up, the first thing I ever imagined myself becoming when I was an adult was Indiana Jones. I figured, like any young boy would, that getting women, punching the shit out of Bad Dudes and saving enslaved children by grabbing some weird rock was a pretty good life.
Of course now that I’m an Adult, I’ve been sucker punched by this thing called Real Life, and to my dismay – I don’t think I’m ever going to be Indiana Jones.
In fact, the closest I ever get to it is the mad dash to a train that is about to leave the station. There really isn’t anything more exciting than seeing the subway doors start to close and jumping into the car right at the last possible second.
I actually take quite a bit of pride in my ability, too. It’s not for the faint-hearted. Sky diving? Please. Try weaving through a crowd of angry commuters (knocking the weak aside if that’s what is necessary) and leaping through the air to catch a train – all to save yourself ten minutes. Now that is what I call Extreme.
The best part about it is seeing the faces of doubt when I make my move toward the train. When I pick up my pace to a steady jog, I always see the people who have exited the subway and I know what they’re thinking:
“He’ll never make it.”
“What a fool! He’s going to be ten minutes later than he thought!”
“I think his fly is down and I’m feeling intrigued.”
But I keep going! Why? Because this is my Temple of Doom! This is my Lost Ark! And damn you to hell if you think it will be my Last Crusade!
When the doors begin to close, that’s when I make my jump, straightening myself out so as to give myself the most room possible to squeeze through.
Then, when I make it on the train, I always take a look around at the people on there already. I nod at the few who have just witnessed this miracle, this Feat Of Amazingness, and feel bad for those who missed it.
Jumping onto trains at the last minute may not be fulfilling my dream to one day become Indiana Jones, but it certainly comes close.
Let’s see an archaeologist do that.